After Bob's death, Fern chose to stay, being houseless - "If I left, it'd be like he never existed," she said, "I couldn't pack up & move on". Some who suffer from loss feel guilty about survival & regard recovery as a betrayal. The pains they cling to is an expression of loyalty. They need time with emotional support, not blame for being stubborn.
One draws a magic circle around oneself – to keep everything out that doesn’t fit one’s secret games. Each time life breaks the circle, the games become puny and ridiculous. So one draws a new circle and builds new defences.