Love=Power, being loved=master. SM is a metaphor for mundane reality, normality; being a wife&mother, a female eunuch, is much worse. Ties, double-edged sword, things you own end up owning you. The tortured turned into torturer, ex-slave is the strictest master.
Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you will live through, again and again, forever.